I try to stay busy. I think what Sue has posted is good advice. No contact is best. Any kind of contact, through social media or directly, will set you back. It was hard for me to accept that it is over, but it is definitely over. I deleted his speed-dial number from my phone just yesterday, and yes, I cried when I did it. The finality of it or something.
BoJack Horseman : You know the shittiest thing about all of this? Is when that stranger behind the counter gave me that free churro, that small act of kindness showed more compassion than my mother gave me her entire goddamn life. Like, how hard is it to do something nice for a person? This woman at the Jack in the Box didn't even know me. I'm your son! All I had was you!
Why Do Girls Cry When Fucked Hard
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BoJack Horseman : Here's a story. When I was a teenager, I performed a comedy routine for my high school talent show. There was this, uh, cool jacket that I wanted to wear because I thought it would make me look like Albert Brooks. For months, I saved up for this jacket. But when I finally had enough, I went to the store and it was gone. They had just sold it to someone else. So, I went home and I told my mother, and she said, "Let that be a lesson. That's the good that comes from wanting things." She was really good at dispensing life lessons that always seemed to circle back to everything being my fault. But then, on the day of the talent show, my mother had a surprise for me. She had bought me the jacket. Even though she didn't know how to say it, I know this meant that she loved me. Now that's a good story about my mother. It's not true, but it's a good story, right? I stole it from an episode of "Maude" I saw when I was a kid, where she talks about her father. I remember when I saw it, thinking, "That's the kind of story I want to tell about my parents when they die." But I don't have any stories like that. All I know about being good, I learned from TV. And in TV, flawed characters are constantly showing people they care with these surprising grand gestures. And I think that part of me still believes that's what love is. But in real life, the big gesture isn't enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependably good. You can't just screw everything up and then take a boat out into the ocean to save your best friend, or solve a mystery, and fly to Kansas. You need to do it every day, which is so... hard.
I know this article is a couple of years old and you might not see this, but I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. I am all grown up and married, in a very healthy relationship.However, I still experience psychological blocks with sex and it is something that brings me down when I focus on it. It is something my husband tries really hard to understand, but he struggles to know what to do to help.
As much as living in an African country can be trying for a woman, this is why is one of the reasons I have always go back home after living after living a mostly white space. The dehumanization, for those of us, raised in wholly black spaces the feeling is palpable, and it requires a level of grit and hardness which I do not have and refuse to get. I was living in the UK which is ostensibly better than the US when it comes to racial issues (meaning no one will burn a cross on your lawn but you will KNOW you are an outsider, no your position in society). WW tears i can write a thesis on this it is absolutely disgusting how they are supposed to be in charge , yet refuse to do the heaving lifting , how i am supposed to provide emotional support or be the mammy of the group (i pretend not to understand ) and yet wonder why xx does not hang out with them. I do not have the bandwidth to deal with WW tears , life is too GD short.
I've known that I was an alcoholic since I was 17 years old. I'm 36 now. Throughout the years I've been in and out of AA with some years of sobriety in between a few months of drinking. Lately I've been drinking once a week at home (without my parents and sisters knowing) and I felt I had self-control for once in my life. I convinced myself that my previous alcoholic tendencies were a thing of the past. It's probably because I'd mainly drink beer and would only buy 4-5 cans and that would be enough. I'd just eat food right after and then go to bed. However, during the past three weeks I've been adding hard liquor like rum and the past couple of nights I finally lost control. On Sunday, after a get together with some friends (without drinking because my sister was there), on my way home I then went to a liquor store and bought a small bottle of rum. When I got home I drank, listened to music and then became so drunk that I made an ass of myself on the Twitch chat, asking if the host thought I was pretty (my god!). I always had this thing about not feeling pretty enough because my sisters look like models. Anyway, I drank at 10pm, ended at 6am and then woke up at 3pm. I woke up with a slight hangover and decided to go to a bar for one Bloody Mary for my hangover. Welp, it didn't end there! I then drank a Margarita, a Corona, a Negroni, and then a Manhattan. Before I knew it my speech was so slurred I could barely talk to the other bar patrons. They were very patient with me but also looked at me with concern. I was aware of how drunk I was but no coherent sentence would come out. I then decided to walk across the street to a Latin bar/restaurant to get some food and more alcohol. I was the only woman there besides the waitresses. I totally lost control. I invited this homeless looking guy to sit with me so I could pay for his dinner. I remember saying to one guy, "God bless your mom." Most of the guys probably felt pity for me. And then I remember talking to this guy who so happened to be friends with a family friend of mine but he was more than 20 years older than me. I could barely talk but he started touching my private area and made out with me and I tried pulling away. He even said that I'm not pretty but I'm not ugly either (I probably asked him if he thought I was pretty.) But for some reason after the restaurant closed I gave him a lift to his house. I'm so ashamed that I drove drunk on top of it all. I think I was supposed to go over that guy's house but thank god he was so fed up with my drunkenness that he hopped out of my car. I'm thankful that I snapped out of my drunken stupor enough to drive home safely, but still! I woke up a few hours later and I realized I lost my glasses and I woke up with a cold sore on my lip! I feel so ashamed and dirty. I haven't bar drank or have been physical with a guy in over three years. I felt so down and hungover that when I was buying new glasses the workers asked if I was ok. I know I can't continue on like this and I know I will get through this embarrassing event because I've been there a thousand times before. I'm just sad that I'm 36 and still haven't grown out of this behavior. My twin has been sober since she was 24 but for some reason I just can't get it.
So i am 42 and been a functioning alcoholic basically my entire adult life. Usually drink anywhere from eight to fifteen beers probably about three nights a week. usually just at home on the phone with a couple single girls i know. When im in a relationship i tend to curb that down for the most part but recently me and my long term gf broke up and i have been in the dumps. Well i went out last night with a couple long term friends i hadnt seen in a while. Went to a local bar we were having fun drinking, playing pool and chatting. I was getting pretty loaded toward the end of the night but was having such a good time i decided to stay when they were going to drop me off at my house. Big mistake! I told them i would uber home and was probably there another hour and a half drinking talking to random strangers, flirting with a couple girls. I dont think i really did anything terrible while i was there because i remember about everything. But by the time i left couldnt even figure out how to work the uber app on my phone so i just figured i would walk home. about 2 miles. Somewhere on the walk home at a little after midnight i trip and hit my head on the sidewalk. I am balding so i shave my head completely. Other than that i get home fine and go to bed. Wake up with this big scrape on the top of my head and it looks rediculous. I have three days before i go back to work, praying it will some how heal by then. I feel pretty stupid today and thought this would help. Thinking of getting some makeup to try and cover the scrape before going back to work. Not how i intended to start my long holiday weekend. I really need to stop drinking to say the least. Its when i have the most fun times but always the times i put myself in the worst or imbarrassing situations. Knowing myself, in a week or so the scrape will be gone, last night will be a distant memory and ill be right back to over drinking. such a shame
Drinking with my family and friend at a party, my sis and her boyfriend were there too, I have 10 years on them but the other folks are double my age so i hung out with them as a cool older brother. I cannot drink like them but i tried anyway.. shots, sh1t mixes, wine, beer. It was awful. Things were good.But at the end of the night everything went south. we were chilling outside and i could see my sis just wanted to go to sleep, I don't remember what he said, something like "sit and stay", i immediately saw red and rushed round the table to sit next to her, i told her to go to bed and then sat in her seat. Context: she (my sis) has severe abandonment issues, self harms when hes not there, threatens suicide and has attempted it before, she is a shell of the girl i grew up with but she is getting much better. throughout the evening he was slapping her (uncomfortably hard) and barking orders at her like some animal, i just had enough. I spewed some of the cruelest scariest things i could muster from me, in an attempt to scare some sense into him, it was like i was possessed. What a mistake. He started recording my monologue seemingly just after i had sat next to him (without my knowledge) my sis then rushed out and took his side, and they both started shaming and goading me into saying some proper horrible things, even challenged me to a fight which i am SO glad i walked away from, when she came out and jumped in with him i had no idea what to do. The next morning he sent the recording to my mother. The recording is terrible, it is the worst version of me imaginable. The whole thing is like a nightmare I can't wake up from. There is a lesson here i have yet to learn. 2ff7e9595c
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